In A World Of Prince Charmings Find Your Gomez Addams

“Look at her, I would die for her; or I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss” – Gomez Addams, The Addams Family

I’m not big on romance – in fact, I tend to shy away from it. I’m not big on being sent flowers, I don’t generally engage in much PDA and I’m not swooning over rom coms.

That doesn’t mean that I’m not affectionate – when I care I give it my all – but when quoting 1 Corinthians 13: and claiming that “faith, hope and love; the greatest of these is love” I don’t agree (You don’t agree with the bible? What?! Gasp! Heathen!). As you can tell by new last name I chose to believe that hope is a stronger belief system because without hope for the future you have nothing. But of course each to their own.

There is, however, one relationship that is ideal and makes me believe in real love, despite the fact that it is actually fictional love. It’s better than Bella and Edward, better than Romeo and Juliet, and yes, even better than the relationship I created that is Victoria and Max Stone in Cosmic Decay: Contamination. And that is the relationship between Morticia and Gomez Addams.

Morticia and Gomez are fictional characters in The Addams Family television and film series. Originally created as a cartoon by Charles Addams, the storylines followed the gothic adventures of an offbeat yet kindhearted family made up of Morticia and Gomez, their children Wednesday, Pugsley and later Pubert, their Frankenstein-style butler Lurch, and an animated dismembered hand named Thing. Many other family members came and went throughout the Addams family’s gothic mansion, including the hirsute Cousin Itt, the balding Uncle Fester, and Grandmama.

What makes Morticia and Gomez’s love so unique has less to do with their gothic surroundings and their unbridled love of the darkness (Morticia enjoys spending her time cutting the heads off of roses or feeding her carnivorous African Strangler plant Cleopatra, while Gomez wiles his days away chomping on cigars in a cutting pinstripe suit coming up with harebrain schemes) and more to do with the absolute respect that they have for each other. Both treat each other like the most important thing in the world, and regularly stop whatever they are doing in order to reciprotate their passions for each other. They are absolutely enamoured with each other, and constantly get sidetracked by each other’s allure.

I mean, is there anything sexier than when Morticia speaks French and drives Gomez wild, who exclaims “Tish! That’s French!” and then grabs her hand, outstretches her arm and kisses his way up to her neck? Honestly, there isn’t.

The passion between the two is obvious, despite which actors are playing them and in which show (Anjelica Huston and Raul Julia took the roles over from Carolyn James and John Astin in The Addams Family movies) and even though sometimes Morticia would reign in Gomez’s passion, they also would often been enraptured with recalling their first meeting or waltzing together numerous times a day. No other love in the history of pop culture has ever had it so smoothly, especially in the 60’s where housewives were stifled under misogynistic advertisements.

The Addams Family continues to be unique in their portrayal of strong foundations of relationships, including what goes on behind closed doors. One can only assume that with such passionate displays of affection in their home, that Morticia and Gomez would enjoy an equally passionate sx life and they have come to be highlighted as a rare display of mutual and consensual yet loving and respectful BDSM. In the latest The Addams Family movie, Morticia opens the movie with the lines “Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again” Their mutual attraction and respect continues to be evident in their kinky sex life as Morticia orders Gomez “Don’t torture yourself, Gomez, that’s my job”. I mean, even in the 60’s Morticia referred to their torture room as “the playroom”.

If their excellent sex life and ultimate passionate doesn’t scream greatest couple ever, then I don’t know what will. Barbie and Ken certainly don’t live up to Gomez and Morticia’s gothic hype.

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